Tips for coping with the holidays
Posted December 16, 2009 // 0 Comments // add yours
Tips for Coping with the Holidays
by The Center for Victims of Violence and Crime
Holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other special personal or family days of remembrance are usually difficult times for those who have experienced an act of violence. Anytime a traumatic event has caused unexpected changes, including the homicide of a loved one, it is normal to feel sad, anxious and overwhelmed. Keep in mind that the anticipation of the anniversary of your traumatic event, or the special day without your loved one is usually worse than the day itself. Take one day at a time and do the best you can when that day arrives.
People who have experienced acts of violence and crime often remember the day of the event, and the unique details of the event whether they are the victim, or the loved one of the victim.
The following are some ways to cope with people, places, dates or events that remind you of the traumatic event that has impacted your life:
- Anticipate the day. Decide how you might best get through it. Let your family and friends know what you have planned and what they can do to be helpful and supportive.
- Initiate some activity for yourself and don’t wait for others.
- Create new traditions or rituals that have meaning.
- Set aside some time for yourself to be alone, or at least spend a few moments with your own thoughts.
- Know your limitations and ask for help, or let others take on some of your responsibilities.
- “Play it by ear” and be flexible. Accept changes and unknown reactions you may have, and learn to take each moment as it comes.
Suggestions for Remembering a Loved One Lost to Violence
- Buy a candle, trinket, or collectable that has some special meaning for your loved one’s memory.
- Create a scrapbook of memories with pictures and personal items.
- Talk about the person who has died.
- Do something of personal meaning for your loved one around special holidays.
- Have a family evening where everyone can share and reminisce about special times with a loved one.
- Prepare your loved one’s favorite food to share at a holiday party.
- Buy a gift for your loved one and donate it to a nursing home, church, children’s home, or hospital. You can even take something to the gravesite in remembrance.
- Donate some time on a special day to a soup kitchen, nursing home, or similar charity of choice.
- Remember to talk about your loved one so their memory and special presence is with you.
For more information, please also read Domestic Violence: A Quiet Crisis Worsened by Economic Hardship in the Winter 2009 edition of Community Forum.
The Center for Victims of Violence and Crime (CVVC) provides victim advocacy and support services, crisis intervention, counseling and community education programs that address the causes and impacts of all types of violence and crime. Their mission is “Healing Trauma. Resolving Conflict. Ending Violence.” Please join them on February 24, 2010 at Peace-It-Together Community Initiative Reception & Peace Partner Awards Ceremony as they honor Pittsburgh’s 2010 Peace Partners and their efforts helping individuals, families and communities heal from violence, crime and conflict. Call 412-482-3240, Ext. 214 for more information.
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